Sorry about the lack of a post for a while.. I should probably come up with some sort of excuse, but that's not really my strong point.

I'm just about to grab some sleep although recently going to bed seems to involve an hour or two of lying awake with my mind racing. My thoughts fly through a thousand different things over and over again. Probably the most recurring thought is the frustration i feel at myself at how little i've achieved in that day. I always moan about there not being enough hours in the day, but then i waste the precious few that i have. I am determined to sabotage myself in every possible way and i hate myself for it. I guess the time i spend lying awake at night is my penance and writing, whether it's songs, this journal, emailing friends or whatever is my therapy.

Back to the subject (although i'm never sure if i am the subject of this journal, or if it's just what i do with ODL, i guess it falls somewhere in between). Things are slowing slightly towards xmas which sucks, I am trying my best to keep up a sense of momentum. i am getting in touch with summer events so that we can get some things booked and I am still getting in touch with promoters, although that has been slow going....my constant distraction has been getting in the way, I need someone to shout at me and keep me going. Email me, tell me to get my arse in gear.

Things are good though, even our rejection emails have been really positive (i know, it's a pretty distant bright-side, but you've gotta find one somewhere). There are more people adding me to MSN which is cool - people we met at shows who say hello and chat to me while I am getting bored working. We are also on MySpace and I think we're getting added to some other things. Sorry if i don't post on them as often as i should, just add it to the list of things i am feeling bad about.
It's very cool that this band comes with so many opportunities to meet people attached. I don't think we always use that as much as we should, the three of us often stick to what we know, but i'm really trying to break old habits and do new things....just bear with me.

I have to go to the doctors tomorrow and have a little camera stuck down my throat to check out my vocal chords. I'm more than a little nervous about it...more about what they are going to tell me than having the little thing stuck up my nose. I am a sucker for a good bombshell, but i'm the first to run for cover when they hit....i'll let you know what happens.

xx