I'm having real difficulty summing up the enthusiasm to even pretend to care today. the fact that I have enough time to update this journal today tells me that I am not where I want to be at this exact moment....but as I promised I am taking steps to get there....they are gonna be bigger steps that i've ever taken I think.

Just working on some lyrics at the moment and for once the words are falling into place, i think being frustrated suits that part of my mind, as does being hurt and miserable...why does it work like that?? There are far more song about pain and frustration than being all happy and joyous - simply because if you're happy, who the hell wants to sit around writing songs about it and try and work through it, you want to be doing whatever the hell made you so happy in the first place. The three songs in front of me now are either frustrated, painful or packed with adrenaline....a heady combination.