First off, thank you to the couple of people who read my last post and got in touch to check I was ok - it is always appreciated to know that there are friends out there who will look out for you, even if you don't have real problems, just the usual self-inflicted nihilistic shit that we all go through once in a while. I was chatting with friends recently about the people that you let into your life and how they can make you feel. I try and cut negative people out of my life as much as I can - anyone who is mean, spiteful and even people who have a constantly negative outlook on life no matter what their situation. It's almost a self-preservation technique, surround yourself with people who believe in themselves and that will rub off on you. Don't get me wrong, I am not talking about abandoning people if they start to feel down, I am always around for my friends - but some people are insistent on fucking their lives up and they want to take as many people with them as possible, don't let them get you, please.

I have posted about this before, but it's always worth repeating - I am proud of each and every one of my friends, they are all good, honest people who have my love and respect. Most of them are better people than me without a doubt, and that makes me want to be a better person. I know we all fuck up every once in a while and we all talk shit and say the wrong things, but at the end of the day I have friends that I met a lifetime ago and we're all still together after all these years when we could have walked away a million times - there's a reason we still talk/laugh/call/txt/hang-out/make fun of each other.

So back to me - I am desperate to start writing lyrics again but in all honesty it's making me a little nervous. I found the album incredibly hard to finish and I haven't written one word since then. I want new songs to tell better stories and try and be a bit less generic, but I also want them to be accessible and clever. Words are a blessing and a curse. I am thankful that I can articulate my feelings like the whiny emo-bitch I am, but sometimes the words just don't seem enough, usually in late-night conversations in parked cars - a set that will feature prominently in the movie of my life.

I read an Oscar Wilde quote recently that said "Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone elses opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." I sometimes think this is me - like I'm a sponge soaking up the world around me that I just spit back out in a different accent. I just hope there is enough of the real me left in anything I do to make it worthwhile. I hope that I am one day able to create something that is uniquely me. I hope that I am able to work out where the debris of the things I have seen and heard stop and the real me starts. How ironic that it takes a quote to inspire that line of thought - must try harder I guess.

Right, back to real life again, see you all soon.

Max x