I try my best to have a pretty good sense of perspective on life.  To be honest, I sometimes think my brain has glimpes of Ataraxia as I stuggle to care about things that other people find important.

Even when I do find an issue to take to heart, I find it hard to stick to.  I am not a great multi-tasker and whenever I am scared, nervous, hurt or down the best thing I can do to shake it off is just to throw myself into something else as hard as possible and distract myself from it.  My self-defence mechanism has become such a big part of me that sometimes it feels like there isn't anything left to defend.

What I am trying to say, and failing, is that I want you to know I do care sometimes - even if I've forgotten how to show it.  Of course, you must also deal with the possibility that I really don't care and I really do just want you to leave me alone.  I'll try and make it a little clearer in the future.


Been listening to this a lot: